Relationships and protection

Divorce and co-parenting: reduce avoidable conflict

Focus communication on the child and the specific decision, with safety and legal context in view.

Educational perspective

Keep allegations and facts separate

When reporting a concern, identify what you observed, what the child or another person reported, and what remains uncertain. A parent’s belief about the other parent’s motives is not an established fact.

Make messages answerable

For ordinary logistical issues, name the issue, the information needed, and a practical proposed arrangement. Avoid diagnoses, global accusations, and repeated arguments about past disputes in a message intended to resolve a current task.

Do not make the child the investigator

Keep adult disputes and demands for evidence out of the child’s role. If there is a significant child-safety concern, obtain appropriate professional help rather than attempting to settle it through pressure on the child.

Use the right source of advice

Psychological education cannot determine custody arrangements, compliance obligations, or recording and disclosure rules. Follow applicable orders and obtain legal advice for consequential uncertainties. Coercion or violence may require a different communication and safety plan.