Practical resource
Don’t Be Played
Recognize pressure. Verify claims. Protect your decisions.
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Verify first. Let trust follow evidence. Look for rushed commitments, missing terms, discouraged checking, and consequential discrepancies. Consider alternative explanations and match verification to the stakes. Read our approach to strategic assertiveness.
Start with five questions
- What exactly happened, using quotations or records where possible?
- Has it happened before, and did it persist after clarification?
- What other explanations fit the available facts?
- What is at stake if you agree, delay, or refuse?
- Which independent source can verify the material claim?
Choose a response that fits the stakes
Unclear or isolated behavior
Ask questions, clarify the request, and allow room for an explanation. Document consequential facts if the stakes justify it.
Repeated pressure or discrepancies
Pause consequential commitments where feasible. Verify records independently, clarify boundaries, and consult an uninvolved source.
Threats, coercion, or retaliation
Prioritize safety and context-specific support. A direct confrontation or announced boundary can increase danger in some situations.
A boundary statement to adapt
“I will review the information independently before making a decision.”
Use this only when it is appropriate and safe for the situation. A script cannot substitute for safety planning.
These categories do not measure danger, diagnose anyone, or determine the correct response for every situation.
Separate the facts from the interpretation.
Use a structured worksheet to clarify what happened and decide what needs verification.
Open the decision worksheet →Want the complete workbook?
Explore the examples, evidence log, and printable decision tools included in Don’t Be Played.
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